Tag Archives: military

Peace in the Waiting

My goodness it has been a while since I’ve blogged here! I’ve had an uptick of followers though and thought I ought to say hi! So, hello there! I am a little better at blogging on my new site: https://www.arkansasbirthphotography.com/blog (well, not all that much better…ha!)

Since my last post here we’ve just been living life and adjusting to our new perimeters. Slowly. Ha. We arrived back from Crete mid August and at that time I started pursuing my photography business in earnest (since I can legally work in the states!) My passion for documenting the stories of women/childbirth/babies/family has certainly kept me busy since!

I also applied and was accepted as a volunteer photographer with Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. I had always been convinced I wouldn’t know how to deal with people going through a season of grief, but I felt an unmistakable pull towards these particular families who must say goodbye to their tiniest members. My nerves peaked right before my first session but after entering the room and introducing myself to the parents I felt nothing but peace. It is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, this certainty that I have been empowered specifically to give this gift, that I am EXACTLY in the place and time where my creator wants me to be. I find such incredible beauty and rest in the presence of these sleeping angels. There is no fear or sadness in doing my job: I know they are back with the one who knit them together in the first place, for a purpose – however obscure it may seem to us here on Earth. The incredible honor of being one of the few people to meet these precious little souls is not lost on me and I think about them daily.

In other news: my hubby transitioned from active duty to the reserves upon arriving back to the states but has been on active orders almost the entire time. It has definitely been an interesting transitional period, especially with starting a small business and a volunteer commitment thrown in the mix. We have dealt with a few separations but in all it hasn’t been so bad. We are still waiting for a more permanent feeling situation in career and housing but we did upgrade to that mini van we wanted just before we found out about Europe! Cici is a lovely Toyota Sienna and is such a joy to drive. We just returned from a three week road trip where we tested her out and scratched our travel itchy feet a little ❤

Our boys are doing great and we look forward to getting more settled so that we can move in the direction of becoming foster parents, which has been a dream of ours for years.

Many situations in our lives may still be in flux but along with my village’s support and commiseration, I am doing better at finding peace in the waiting.

 

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Finding Center

1BL_3779I sit sweltering at the kitchen table. The temperature has been reaching up to 106 degrees this week and our house has no ac. I lean my head against the wall and notice that from this vantage point the church in our tiny village is exactly centered between two of our porch columns. I vaguely wonder if it would make a good photo. My camera is all the way across the room though and it’s just too hot to move. I feel a bead of sweat slowly trace down my cheek. So I sit and think about the little village church. If you are native to Kathiana it is the church you would attend every Sunday and every holiday. How very different that is from my own church hopping experiences back home. I briefly ponder where we’ll make our church home if we find ourselves moving back to Arkansas. Neither is a given, the move or the church. It’s been a long time since we had a church to call our own and it would take consideration to choose the perfect one for our family. As sunset approaches I watch beautiful golden light bathe the whitewashed village church and I think about the people who worship there. Is it the perfect church for them? Probably not. But all the same they go. They join their family, friends, neighbors, enemies and even the guy who ran over their chicken week after week and they make it work because it’s their home.

As we wait to find out where we will be moving next – these reflections on “home” sit heavily upon my chest. I’m well versed in platitudes on the subject: “home is where the military sends you,” “home is where the heart is,” but platitudes bring me no peace in this period of transition. Nevertheless I move on day in and day out, making lunches, changing diapers and doing all the normal things that can sometimes feel even more a burden during times of limbo. But I’ve been surprised to find that this time the burden doesn’t seem too heavy and I’m mostly able to be at peace in it: in the small moments of every day life and in the assurance that all things work according to a higher plan. In the next couple of weeks we will be set upon a new path and I pray that we will walk it with equanimity, grace and above all, faith. Because while we may not have been born into a small close knit village with a default church, I know that there is a plan and a place for us; be it putting down roots this time or more short term stops along the way. And like that little church, centered and bathed in comforting golden light, I will carry on content in that knowledge.

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